So I haven't blogged in almost a year. I know not many people read this- so I'm going to use it as a chance to vent. This was one of the toughest weekends I've had- which actually makes me a lucky person- but I don't feel it. We woke up on Saturday- all ready to have a nice relaxing weekend and here comes a knock at our door. Bill (another man who lives in our building) tells me "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your cars been broken into". My heart dropped. Rick's new car- broken into? No- not at our home. Not in our 'secure' parking lot that is monitored live by a security company. It must be a joke. How to tell Rick? I shut the door- walked into the loft and told him. His face dropped. We went outside to check the damage. FIVE cars were broken into. This has happened before- many times. There's glass everywhere. It feels like a bad joke. We see equipment from the dash sitting on top of it. Look inside the broken window- the dash is ruined, the glove compartment emptied. Glass all over the place. This can't be happening. I feel violated. I don't feel safe. Something he's worked so hard for- and some asshole just feels like they have the right to take it. To ruin it. I feel hatred. I see red. I want to find the person who did it- who hurt Rick- who feels like they have a 'right' to take and hurt- and use their crowbar on their head. But, I can't. Not because I wouldn't if given the choice. Not because I feel like a good person right now. But because, while the police wont even help us, they would hurt us. Even though- this is our way of protecting ourselves- because the police obviously wont. We can't protect our belongings. We can't protect ourselves from being violated. But no one else will either. So, as good people who don't want to ruin our own lives- we are subject to just let it happen. To be violated. To be hurt and have things we work so hard for taken from us at will. And we have to watch these criminals keep doing it- and stand aside and let them do it- and in turn they become worse criminals. I turn my anger towards the company that was supposed to be watching. Can I have their information please? No? The HOA Board is going to deal with them? great- because that'll work. I'm currently working on setting up a neighborhood meeting to set up a neighborhood watch. Let's see if that helps. I'm also waiting for the security footage, planning (hoping) there's a face. IF there is, I will be posting photos all over the place in hope that we get a name. Not to use the crowbar, but to give the police- to see if they will finally help with hard core evidence. But, for the most part- all I can do is sit here violated and hope to prevent it from happening to other good people. But, we still suffer. Rick still suffers. Because no body did anything to prevent it in the first place. Why?? Why did this happen? Because we live in a 'ME' society. Because the only person most Americans care about are themselves. They don't care what happens to others. It's sad but a reality. There are as many 'ME' people as 'WE' people in the US. The 'ME' people range from criminals, willing to hurt others for $10, to politians, turning down healthcare bills because they don't care if the lower class is sick- it's not as important as the money in their pockets. Funny- but the upper class 'ME' group is partially responsible for creating the lower class criminal 'ME' group. And who hurts in this?? The hard working, strong willed, caring middle class.

We call the police. They might as well say "we don't care". No one comes. We get cleaned up. Rick cleans the glass. Rick takes out the remainders of the sterio. Rick tapes up the window. Rick want's to move. He doesn't want to be on the first floor anymore. Someone could just break the window and take other things we have worked so hard for. It's scary to think this is going on in what (minus the few 'section 9' housing) is a safe neighborhood. It's someone who lives in the area- it's someone who keeps coming back. We know this to be true- but no one listens. No one cares unless it happened to them. Even most of the people that this did happen to- don't care. Why? Because they didn't have as much damage. They didn't have as nice of a car or spend all day putting in a nice sterio- like Rick did.

We start moving on. We make a plan on how to fix it. We start not feeling as paranoid or sad. We spend Sunday running errands and getting more excited about the week. We go have Mexican food. I'm driving- so I give Rick the chance to have mulitple margarita's and forget about the car for a night. We have a blast. We sit for hours talking and having fun and forgeting about bad stuff for a bit. We go home and decide to drink a bit more- play darts (I almost won TWICE) and talk and it feels like when we first started dating. We're really happy. I love him so much- he just makes me smile everyday and he's my best friend. The hurt from the car was receding- we were just 'us'. Then his phone rings. I jump up to answer it. It's Brad! I answer giggling and he says "I hate to be the bearer of bad news" What?? My heart stops. Why am I hearing this again in two days? "Phil died a few minutes ago" I stop. This is a joke. That's not true- I just spoke to him two days ago- and we 'argued' over what to change in the last chapter I wrote. Not really argued, but he laughed at me and said he was coming home soon (he's been in MN for the past few months). I told him I couldn't wait and we made 'plans'. I figured I'd talk to him again this week. I couldn't speak. I just gave the phone to Rick and started crying. Phil- the person who held our group together. As in called- The 'Phil Group' when Rick and I would go over invite list for parties. Phil- the person who I cryed to when Rick and I went through a rough patch and he told me that both Rick and I were 'good folks' and were good for eachother and it would always work out for us. Phil- the guy who, when I was being one, told me I was "a woman who rymed with witch". Phil- the first of Rick's friends I had ever met. Phil- the person you could always count on to make things look better, and who tried so very hard to make his life better. Phil- who helped get me a job when I needed one, and the person who trusted me to write his resume, and the person who we took turns reading eachothers writting because we could count on the other to 'not be nice'. Rick gets off the phone. We're sobered. I don't want to be. I can't stop crying. I keep drinking. I can't say anything. I've had friends die. Friends that have died suddenly and that were close to me. But this is Phil. Everyone loved him. It's not one of those situations that people only say nice stuff after he dies. He's one of those people that people only said nice stuff when he was alive. He was our glue. He was our kindred spirit. I'm never going to see him again. I always pictured if Rick and I get married- Phil standing up there with Rick. I always thought it was a certanty. Phil and I would even talk about if Rick and I get married- Phil needed to loose wieght so he 'looked good next to those fools (Rick and Brad)'. He was one of Rick's closest friends. And he became one of mine. He was such a wonderful person. It still feels like a bad joke. I still think that I'll look at my email and their will be an email from him saying "Ha. Just kidding k-o" but it's not happening. What are we going to do? Are we going to loose touch with everyone because it's just hard? He really was our glue. What about our x-mas parties and picking paint colors and movies and Harry Potter and tour of lofts. Can we do that stuff without him- it's not the same. It wont be the same. We can't call our group of friends the 'Phil Group' anymore? He was loved by so many people. He was always smiling. He was one of the few people who could calm me down when I got into my 'moods' (minus Rick of course) I'm hurting. But, I can only imagine how Rick and Brad and Ebeth and Kay and his family are hurting. It's got to be so much worse for all of them. I can only say I'm sorry.

First anger then tears. This was not a good weekend. I want to feel numb right now. I think it would be better.

So much has been going on!! I got to meet my newest niece- who was adorable! I've been working a lot- and I'm moving in with Rick in less than two weeks! Trying to pack/store/get rid of everything right now. Plus- so much to do with both jobs right now! I'm ready for a vacation!!! Have to wait till August tho- and go to CO with the whole family. Pretty excited about that- it should be a lot of fun! Other than that- just working working working! Attached are some photo's of my trip to Chicago.

Going Out of Town

I'm leaving work early today- driving to Indianola, IA- Going to Minneapolis at 6am tomorrow for a funeral- then going to Chicago for the weekend for my niece's baptism. I wont be back until Monday. I'll post an update when I get back.

3D Scanner/Printer- AWESOME!

Click Here for a Link to the video for the 3D Scanner/Printer!

It's really really cool :)

TGIF

Stressed out week. Waiting on news from our new web provider and host- and they were in training all week and still waiting on them to get back to me. The only thing they have done so far- is take down my current website- so now I'm having to send a lot of emails to people who want to order- with photos, prices, and information. I am getting together a list from super pages of designers and such and setting it all up- so I'm ready to mass email and let people know we exist... Of course I can't send that until I actually have a working site... sigh... Whom ever said 'Patience is a Vuture' has never had to deal with this.

Good note tho- I am counting down the days until I get to go to Chicago next weekend and see my the newest Patten :) I'm pretty excited about that!! And, My boss's secretary brought me in some purfume and lip gloss today (she got a handfull of samples- and gave one to me and one to my boss's wife) and it's awesome and I smell great :) lol.

I'm researching Steel Stamps today- so that we can stamp bearcreekbronze.com onto our bronze bear necklaces for Chicago's Coverings Show in April, as well as inputing my prospect list. So, it'll be a long boring day- but at least I can cross things off of my 'to-do' list!

Ok- that's my vent of the day!

Thank God!

So, problem after problem with current website- but we've finally decided to host everything with the back end provider (A new program they offer) where they will host, fix the problems, and get it running- like it should be, as soon as possible. It's a little pricy- so now just have to concentrate on marketing and sales. I'm going to a 'Camber of Commerce' meeting tomorrow morning in Shawnee- as we're now members- and market a little. As well, as calling potential dealers and getting all ready for the show in Chicago in April! Wish me luck! We need to up our sales quite a bit- but once that happens- we will be sailing high! I got to drive a brand new acura today- to go to lunch- my boss' 'rental' car while he gets his fixed- oooo it's nice. :) I want one- but it'll have to wait... a few years :) OK- it's 2pm- I need to eat lunch!

IOWA!!!

Going Home today- to work with mom for the weekend! I can't wait! :) Oh- and the website is live!!!!There's a huge weight gone! go to www.bearcreekbronze.com :) Oh- and I had a great night last night!